Our Testimony about Isaac and Rachel

Dear all,

Pastor Dennis preached about the second Beattitude today - "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shallbe comforted" and we shared our testimony with our church. I would like to share our testimony here as well. But before I post our testimony, just a quick update on Isaac. Please continue to pray for healing for his low blood pressure, poor circulation, anemia and CLD. His low blood pressure continues to cause his breathing to be unstable and he received his 4th blood transfusion today for his anemia. We saw him smile again. We have been able to see him smile 3 days in a row - so they must really be smiles right? He is so expressive - he frowns and smiles and yawns and looks surprised. It is just so great to look at his expressions. He is also very expressive with his hands (well at least one hand because he still can't really move the other hand because of the IV in that arm). We are hoping that his expressiveness means that his brains and nervous system are developing well.

Anyway, here is our testimony. I apologize for the length.

Testimony:

Jong:
Dear TBC brothers and sisters,

First of all, my wife Sonia and I want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all of your prayers for Rachel, Isaac and us during the last couple of months. We could not have made it here without them. Originally, we planned to organize a memorial service for Rachel but when Pastor Dennis mentioned that he was giving a sermon on the second Beatitude about mourning, we thought our testimony was a better way to honor Rachel’s memory and share our story of God’s truly amazing love, wisdom and mercy.

Sonia:
I apologize in advance for walking down memory lane but I thought some context would be helpful. Jong and I have always wanted children but were not able to conceive after 9 years of marriage. Last November, right around our 9^th year wedding anniversary, we were overjoyed to learn that God had given us not one but two babies! We always wanted at least two kids and it seemed like God was going to complete our family in one shot. Initially, I had the best pregnancy apart from hating the smell of Doritos chips (Jong’s favorite) and a few other things. I had no morning sickness. All of our checkups were always perfect and our babies were growing right on schedule. When we passed the first trimester so smoothly, we thought we were home free. At my 17th week checkup, our doctor confirmed that we were having a boy and a girl. It was perfect as both of our mothers really wanted a boy but Jong and I really, really wanted a little girl. It seemed like all of our dreams were coming true.

Unfortunately, just a week later, at exactly 18 weeks, our world came crashing down around us. We discovered that although my cervix was long and closed just a few days ago, it had silently dilated and our little girl’s sac was bulging out of it. Our doctor immediately admitted me to the hospital, but despite his efforts, her sac ruptured overnight and she lost all of her amniotic fluids. We were told that we should expect labor to start soon and that we would lose both babies. We were devastated and immediately named our babies Rachel Grace and Isaac Samuel. We named our son Isaac because we knew that our babies were gifts from God and we needed to be willing to give them back to Him if that is what He wanted, just like He asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac.

But what followed was 5 weeks of miracles. Despite having no water or room in my womb, Rachel was able to stay alive inside me for 5 weeks. Our doctor even told us that it was a miracle as he has never seen a pregnancy like this last this long. By God’s mercy, He gave us 5 extra weeks to spend with our babies – time to talk to them, sing to them and pray with them. At times we hoped and at times we despaired. Unfortunately, I started contractions and developed an infection so the doctors performed an emergency C-section on me when I was only 23 weeks pregnant, and Isaac and Rachel were born on April 4th. As Rachel did not have any water to develop her lungs, we knew her prognosis was very grim. But she was very strong and struggled to stay alive for 1 hour 42 minutes; just long enough for the hospital staff to cart me from the operating room to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit to spend 10 minutes with her before she went to heaven. Jong spent almost the entire hour and a half with her. Fortunately, by His mercy, Isaac is still in the hospital trying his best to grow and develop one day at a time, while battling problems that come with his extremely premature birth.

These past 2 months have been the most painful and devastating in our lives. Losing our sweet and brave Rachel and having our tiny baby Isaac in a hospital far away from us, struggling to live, seeing him hooked up to two painful IVs and feeding and breathing tubes has at times been heart breakingly unbearable. However, these past 2 months have also been the most spiritually blessed for us. We feel completely broken – our hearts, our souls, our lives all feel broken. But somehow I think that is how God needed us to be in order to fully realize how much love He has shown us during our entire lives and during our current trials. Every step of the way since I was hospitalized, there was absolutely nothing we could do but rely and trust in Him and He rewarded our faith by opening doors. He also showered us with mercy and kindness – basically allowing us to stop everything in our professional lives to spend time with each other and with our babies for 5 beautiful weeks. Despite their own serious health and other problems, my parents, especially my mother, have been with us since I was admitted to the hospital taking care of us every day with the selfless love, sacrifice and tenderness that only a mother could have for her child. Just as importantly, not a day goes by without us being reminded and reignited in faith by the overwhelming outpouring of prayers and love from all of you, our friends, family and an incredible number of Christian brothers and sisters we have never even met. Just to illustrate briefly, I started a counter on our blog about a week after Rachel and Isaac’s birthday and as of Wednesday, we had over 17,000 hits. People have been praying for us in almost all of the 50 states in the U.S., as well as Canada, China, Hong Kong, Singapore, Thailand, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, Israel, the U.K., Germany, Czech Republic, Sweden and of course Japan. We even received a card from professional Christian singer Amy Grant because of the kindness of one of our online prayer warriors. God really showed us that our Christian family is indeed a single family in one great big house and that when any of us are in need and trouble, an army of believers truly stands ready to pray and intercede for His glory. We have never felt so loved.

Finally, we know through our Lord’s Word that we do not grieve alone and that every time Jong and I wept, Jesus wept with us. After Rachel went back to our Lord, I was reading the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. This is part of what I read in John 11: “When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.” And later on in the chapter, it says “Jesus wept.” One of the greatest comfort to me is knowing that our God, our Lord Almighty mourned with us. Jong and I know that we had to be completely broken by our Lord so that our Lord can remold us into better servants of and warriors for God, and to better receive His mercy, compassion and grace. Just as he has shown such generosity in our time of desperation, I know God is working to rebuild us so that we can be counted to serve Him. We know that we are not the first parents to lose a child or to have a child enter the world so early and we won’t be the last, and we are humbled by how special He and all of you have made us feel. We still have a long way to go and we are still heartbroken but the difference is with Jesus as our Lord, even as we are mourning, we have never been without hope and faith as we know that everything is in God’s hands and that He has a plan for us, Rachel and Isaac and that we will all be together again someday. That day to come will be filled with great joy because of the great mourning we have experienced. Just as Matthew 5: 4 says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted...", and Jong and I have been comforted by the Lord.

Thank you again for all of your prayers and love and God bless.