Sonia, Isaac and Rachel

Hi Everyone,

On behalf of Sonia, Rachel, Isaac and myself, I would first like to thank everyone for the outpouring of support and prayer. I don't think I can reiterate how much your prayers have kept our spirits and energy up. We'd also like to thank everyone who has posted such encouraging and spiritually uplifting messages on our blog and on Hannah's Prayer. Thanks in particular to those mothers and fathers who have shared their experiences about their own pregnancies, tragedies and miracles. We know that Rachel and Isaac aren't the first premies to be born this early and we aren't the first family to experience this sort of loss and we are humbled and value the fact that we can better appreciate the sense of loss and introspection that all of you must have gone through. Praise the Lord for his mercy and grace and his children for their faith, love and support for each other. It is so clear to us how the Lord works amazing miracles each and every day through this sons and daughters.

Wednesday morning was really difficult. Neither Sonia nor I fully felt the full impact of our loss of Rachel until we woke up that day. It was so difficult to stop the spontaneous outbursts of tears and get out of bed but He certainly hasn't led us this far for us to give up on Isaac and for me to be there for Sonia's recovery. We're also increasingly sensitive to falling victim to self pity which is sinful and a disservice to Him and Rachel's memory.

Isaac seems to be doing his best to take advantage of Rachel's sacrifice and courage. His heartbeat is pretty stable and he seems to be breathing well enough with the help of a ventilator. He has a couple of problems already that Sonia tells me is common for premies such as a hole between the heart and lungs, lower than ideal blood pressure and jaundice. The doctors had us sign a whole bunch of waivers and authorizations to start medicating and infusions to help alleviate some of these problems.

The good news is that he is amazingly active. He kicks and waves his arms around like he's dreaming of a non-stop Jackie Chan movie marathon and seems to be cry a lot even though he can't vocalize his cries because of the ventilator tube. The doctors and nurses say this is a good sign. In fact, Isaac is so active that he's giving himself a bit of a rash (skin on skin friction) which is a bit of a concern because the risk of infection is so high (while the pathologist hasn't come back to us with a definite answer, the twins' placentae and umbilical chords were so brittle that the doctors have little doubt that the infection had started progressing in the babies by the time of delivery).

Our neonatologist tried feeding Isaac a tiny amount of glucose two times today to see if Isaac's digestive system was developed enough to start taking his mother's milk. While he wasn't able to digest all of it, our doctor was encouraged enough to try feeding him about 0.5 ml of Sonia's breast milk late this evening. This was a little sooner than we had anticipated but I assume the faster he can take his mothers milk the better. We are so very grateful that he is in stable enough condition for the doctors to try this. Please pray that the feeding is successful.

Our doctor also scanned Isaac's brain and they didn't see any material bleeding thus far. While we are really really early in the game and this can happen at any time, especially if Isaac contracts an infection, we're grateful for the good news nevertheless and will rely on Him to take care of tomorrow and the day after that.

Isaac also seems to respond to our touch. I've tried to give him little baby foot massages and have tried to play with his hands. They are amazingly articulated and they look so different than they did just two days ago. We'd appreciate any do's and don'ts about managing micropremies that you may have. They don't seem to do some of the things that we have read to be commong in the U.S. (such as keeping things dark or dim to best emulate a womb-like environment, etc...) but I'm not sure whether this makes that big a difference. Isaac seemed to try and open his eyes a bit today which I think is bad since it is too early.

Sonia is recovering slowly but surely. Because of the size and location of the babies, they had to cut a lot more than a normal c-section would require. Between that the the probability that an infection had started because of Rachel's pPROM, Sonia is a little behind in regaining her mobility, continence, etc... and has a bit of a temperature. They are trying to get her started back on a liquid diet.

Tomorrow will be the last time we will have a chance to kiss and caress our darling Rachel before we say good bye for now. We have arranged for a small prayer service tomorrow at the hospital before she takes her trip to the mortuary. We have requested to receive her ashes for us to keep and take back to the U.S. someday. Our pastors Dennis and Takeshi will be with us to give a short prayer. While we will likely always have a place in our heart for our angel, Sonia and I believe that Rachel would want us to take heart and inspiration from her sacrifice and to appreciate and cherish our Isaac and be continuously draw nearer to Him so that she can smile down at us from heaven waiting for the time we will be reunited as a family.

Thank you once again for blessing us so much. We are truly humbled.

We will continue to post updates on Isaac and Sonia. If Isaac continues to make progress, we'll also try and post a couple of pictures as well.

God bless,

Jong