Isaac's First Scare

Dear all,

We went to visit Isaac this afternoon and learned that Isaac had his first big scare yesterday evening. His IV has been connected through his umbillical cord since he was born. Apparently, last night, the attending doctor noticed that the IV was no longer secure and may fall out unexpectedly so he decided to take the IV out. Unfortunately, after he took the IV out, Isaac wouldn't stop bleeding despite applying pressure and other usual methods. They eventually got the bleeding to stop but he had already lost quite a bit of blood.

When we saw him today, he looked soooooo exhausted. Our poor, poor baby. He also now has an IV connected to his leg. My heart just broke for him. Because of my struggles with IVs during my 5 weeks of bed rest and then 1 week of post surgery recovery, I know just how much IVs hurt and it breaks my heart that he has to go through that pain. Unfortunately, the IV on his leg probably won't last that long because of his regular movements. Please pray that the IV last as long as possible for him. Also, because they took the IV out of his tummy and the bleeding, his risk of infection is higher right now so please pray for protection against infection as well. Finally, he is already anemic so this really didn't help, so please pray that our Lord will help our little Isaac produce more red blood cells on his own.

The doctors don't know why he couldn't stop bleeding. As far as Jong and I know, we don't have any family history of hemophelia so we really don't think that could be the reason (and hope and pray that that is not the reason). They had to stop his feeding after all this happened last night but started back up again but at 4.5 ml per feeding today. They are really hoping that he could get up to 8.0 ml per feeding sometime next week (they will try to ncrease the feeding by 0.5 ml per day) and if he is able to digest all my milk at that level, they will probably take his IV out until he needs it again for various reasons. He still needs a little help (anema) to poop properly. But Isaac's doctor said everything was basically stable after what happened last night.

He still looks really, really cute though he looked so exhausted. Its really, really tough watching him suffer like this. Its hard not to wish that he was still happily inside my womb instead of having go through all this.

I know God is in control and everything that happened was and is in accordance with His Plan. But its so hard to see my fragile little baby suffer. I wish I could somehow take the pain and suffering on little Isaac's behalf. There is basically nothing much I can do exept pray and I think that's exactly how God wants it -- for me to be completely helpless except for praying and asking for His mercy and compassion on Isaac.

The one disturbing thing though was that the hospital never called us last night. I hope its because it wasn't really that serious and they had everything under control. I am just a little disturbed that they didn't tell us till we got there this afternoon. I guess I just have to really constantly be praying for my little boy because something could be happening to him without my knowing! I actually woke up this morning, I think from a nightmare, and I was more worried about Isaac than usual. Jong said he also had a heavy feeling in his heart on our way there.

I was crying when we were with Isaac in NICU after the doctor told us what happened because my heart was hurting so much for our baby boy. I know this was probably nothing and we have a long road ahead of us. I need to toughen up!! Its so tough for me - last year, our friend's son fell off of the sofa while we were all having dinner and he hurt himself right next to his eyes. His heart wrenching cries made me almost cry and he is not even my own son. I always knew it would be really hard to see my own child suffering but never imagined it would be this hard.

Anyway, Isaac would have been born 2 weeks tomorrow so I am really looking forward to celebrating his 2 weeks birthday (and 25 weeks gestational age) with him tomorrow.

Take care and thanks for all your prayers,

Sonia

p.s. Andrea - Jong and I used to go to Redeemer as well when we lived in NYC as well. Dr. Keller is the best - I still download his sermons and his sermons were a lifeline during my bedrest!