3 Month Birthday

Dear all,

Today we celebrate the 3 month birthday of our babies, while a lot of us are also celebrating the birth of our nation. Today would have been the 36th week of my pregnancy, the week that, if everything had gone perfectly in our pregnancy, would very likely have been the week that our doctor would have wanted to schedule our C-section because of our twin pregnancy. In the beginning of our pregnancy, I had hoped that our babies could be born on the Fourth of July so that they can celebrate their birthday with fireworks each day. So today is a bittersweet day for me. However, there is no sense in dwelling in would have's or could have's. What has happened has all happened in accordance with the will of our Lord, who has blessed us so richly with His overflowing love and grace every single step of our way. So we praise God today for everything He has done and everything He will do.

I would like to share a letter I wrote to my son and daughter with you today. However, before I do that, I first want to share some updates on Isaac. Isaac is still stable on DPAP. He is also IV-free today for the first time after having IVs in since shortly before his heart surgery. His CRP level was at 0.3 today (which is the same as yesterday). He also had his eyes examined today and assuming I understood the nurse correctly as she spoke to me entirely in Japanese, Isaac's ROP has improved, so at least for now, there is no need for another laser surgery - Praise the Lord! We pray that the Lord will continue to heal his ROP and CLD. Isaac weighed 1,273 grams today.

Here is the letter that I would like to share with you:

July 4, 2006

To my dearest Isaac and Rachel,

My son, my courageous little soldier, and my daughter, my brave darling angel, you were born 3 months ago today. You were both still so tiny and fragile and were forced to face this harsh world so much earlier than you were supposed to. On top of that, my dear darling Rachel, you had already suffered for 5 weeks inside me without any water around you to let you move or grow properly. But you were both so incredibly amazing strong and brave.

Rachel, I know you tried as hard as you could. Thank you so much for making sure that mommy could meet you before you finished your work here on earth and went to heaven to be cuddled and loved by our Lord Jesus. Thank you so much for being so strong inside mommy so that your brother Isaac can stay here to be with mommy and daddy. Mommy will always cherish the time I had with you, both when you were inside me and when you were outside on this earth. I am so happy that you have been dancing and singing with angels in heaven for 3 months already. I am glad that there is no more suffering for you and that you are right now experiencing the full extent of God'’s love.

Isaac. What can mommy say? You have been such an incredible little boy. You have been so brave and so strong. Every day you amaze me with your strength and perseverance. Every day you inspire me with your zeal for life.

God has taught mommy so much through the two of you -– faith, surrender, patience, love, perseverance, courage, and more patience. I have been blessed beyond measure because of the two of you.

My dear beloved son Isaac, I am praying so hard that God will continue to teach your mommy and daddy how to be Christ-like parents so that we can show you just how awesome, how great, how merciful, how faithful, how loving, how powerful and how good our Lord and God is. I pray on my knees before our Heavenly Father that, even now, your heart can already grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and that your heart will know this love that surpasses knowledge - so that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. And I pray that you will grow up loving our Lord our God with all of your heart, with all of your soul and with all of your mind.

Rachel, you already know the full measure of our Lord'’s love and you know it so much better than mommy and daddy can. Please whisper and explain this great love of Christ to your brother so that he can know and understand it too.

I thank the Lord each day for blessing me with the two of you. I thank the Lord each day for keeping one of you in heaven and allowing us to keep one of you here on earth for a while longer. I thank the Lord each day for making this mommy'’s heart full.

Happy 3-Month Birthday, my loves.

Mommy