Hi folks,
Thursday has come and gone and, praise the Lord, we're still at the hospital.
So, yesterday, Sonia and I were praying for some sign, something to let us know that God was here at Aiiku with us and that He had everything under control.
Well, first, we are still here.
Second, I had an amazing experience this morning. During Sonia's exam this morning, I asked (sort of insisted) on seeing Rachel's hand for myself. Apparently, this is a completely irregular and unheard of request on the part of a husband.
Anyway, a few moments later, for the very first time, I saw my little daughters left hand. It was moving and was much bigger than I had been led to believe.
In an instant, God lifted all of my fears and worries away. Suddenly, all I could think about was what a miracle Rachel is and that God allowing me actually seeing her hand while she was in Sonia's womb, was as clear a sign from God that the entire process is under His auto pilot.
While I still have moments of emotional collapse, my heart feels fundamentally changed. I am not worried about "if" Rachel will survive. All I can think about is peace of mind in the absolute fact that God's will will be done. While I feel like we've completely surrendered to Him, I am grateful to Him that this has not resulted in my giving up hope at all. Nay, I think the opposite has happened. As soon as I totally surrendered after seeing my daughter's hand, I knew she was in the right hands.
I know it is so much harder for my dear dear Sonia as she feels Rachel all of the time now moving in and out of her womb. But I know deep in her heart that she too has received the Lord's peace and that the Holy Spirit and the angels filling our room are beside her 24/7.
God bless you.
Jong
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3 comments:
Jong and Sonia,
I am a Hannah's Prayer member and another board friend brought your blog to my attention. My heart grieves and hopes with you because the circumstances of our life have given me a peek of what your are now experiencing. First, I have lost babies. I lost twins twice and triplets twice - all in first trimester miscarriages. My first born child was the only surviving triplet and was the result of a Snowflake Embryo Adoption. We decided to go the "easier" route of domestic adoption for baby number 2. We were eagerly anticipating the arrival of our son due May 1st 2004. We were shocked when he arrived at on January 17th 2004 - 25 weeks and 2 days. As a parent of a micro preemie, I can tell you firsthand that we serve a BIG God and there is always reason to hope. Like you, while going through the first year of Ty's life I kept having to surrender my will to the Lord's. I did not know what God would do with Ty's story. I only knew that Ty's life was meant to bring God glory - however long or short God determined it. God has been teaching me much about His sovereignty and I am learning to not be afraid. He has chosen to take some of my babies home to be with Him when I was sure they would be in my arms. He has left my son Ty with me when I was sure He was taking Ty home. In the end, I chose to say "God is good...all the time."
Will be lifting your family up in prayers and hopefully watching and waiting on the Lord with you.
Love Doni Brinkman
Dear Jong & Sonia,
Doni shared your story with a group of friends who share friendship online. We have come up with something we call a "Prayer Shower" and we thought you might appreciate one right now. Whenever one of us has shared a prayer request with the others - we each respond with our written prayer. So... I hope this is the start of a shower of prayers for your family too:
Father, as I prayed earlier I pray again... only you can truly know the depth of need this family faces right now. Thank you for making your hand evident when you revealed this precious baby's hand to her father tonight. Thank you for comforting and giving peace in one of the most trying times. Please continue to wash over this family with your peace. Hold these tiny little ones close to your beating heart and assure their parents repeatedly of your presence. We ask for life and healing too, for hope, for beauty, for your tenderness. Lord, may your will be done and may we each learn to walk closer to you in all things. Rain down your mercy on this family today I pray. Encourage them and give them hope, peace, and laughter, lots and lots of joy and laughter. Thank you for the opportunity to pray with our brothers and sisters, near and far. We ask that you be glorified in our lives and especially now through this family's story. In your name we pray, Amen.
Love, your Sister in Texas,
Heidi Jo
I was given some information about your journey from a mutual friend we share. Please know that you have many people praying for your family in Northwest Arkansas. You are in our thoughts daily.
Lisa Sommer
Rogers, AR
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