Newest Ultrasound and 4th Sunday

We had our latest ultrasound with Dr. Sakamoto yesterday, Saturday, as he is away from Tokyo with his family today. Isaac continues to do well, still 1.5 weeks ahead in growth. He was moving around a lot during the ultrasound and I can feel him kick all the time. Rachel is still the same. Unfortunately, even though before each ultrasound I pray and hope so hard that we can see some reaccumulation of fluids for her, there was none. In fact, we can't even see her sac as she is probably completely wrapped tight by it. She continues to be a week behind in growth but her heartbeat continues to be strong. After the ultrasound, Dr. S sat back and actually said this really is a miracle -- for Rachel to be able to survive this long in this condition and for me not to have contractions, infection or other complications so far.

We still have much longer to go than the time we have already spent here at the hospital. On Tuesday, we would have been in the hospital for 4 weeks - but we need at least 6 more weeks just to get to 28 weeks (which Dr. S said we need just for Isaac to be born without him having too much long term health problems). Sometimes, when I think ahead about how much longer we have to go on like this, it really scares me. But as Jong is always reminding me, I have to take it one day at a time and at the most one week at a time. Plus I need to be constantly thanking God for what He has given us already. Just being pregnant with our precious twins was God's answer to our prayers. We have struggled for so long to just get pregnant and prayed so hard. And He answered our prayers and gave us more than we asked for - twins. He has given us so much extra time so that I can start feeling Isaac kick (I was not yet able to feel him kick when I first got admitted to the hospital; I can't really feel Rachel kick as she really can't move around) and more importantly, all this time to show Jong and I how to trust in Him and to surrender to Him daily, all this time for us to grow so much closer as a family and to pray together as a family, all this extra time for us to love our Rachel and Isaac more and more each day ...

Our Lord reminded me of the verses in Philippians this morning: "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7

Sometimes I just want to go down on my knees and just beg and beg God for Him to just give us our babies. Especially for Rachel - we have not seen any improvement in her conditions and I really need so much faith to not despair for her. But the verses reminded me that when I pray, I need to do it with thanksgiving. So I thank the Lord with all my heart for already having given me my heart's desire - I have always longed for a little girl - and He has given me a little girl, and not just any little girl, He has given us the bravest, strongest, sweetest and most loving little girl we could have ever asked for. Her tenacity to hang on despite her conditions amazes me and I have to believe she is doing this for her brother Isaac.

In all this, Jong and I have really, really felt God's love, grace, mercy and faithfulness to us. Not just because He has shown us so much love through all our friends and loved ones who continue to pray so hard for us and our babies, including many sisters and brothers I have never even met in person. But He has shown us His great love for us by showing us, every day, how to be better children of His and how to better serve Him. We now know with an absolute conviction that He has great plans for this family, regardless of the outcome of our current struggles, and is preparing us so that we can fulfill His great plans and we are truly humbled.

We thank you from our heart for all your continued prayers for this little family. We continue to pray that our Lord will bless each of you richly with every blessing.

Sonia