Pictures and more tantrums

Sigh. Isaac has continued to throw tantrums every night before bed time and it seems to be getting worse every night. He doesn't cry much during the day at all. Its just right before bed time at night. We are not sure why he is doing this. One possible theory is he might have acid reflux which is usually supposed to be worse at night if he has it. I am going to try to find out whether we can figure out he has acid reflux in Japan. I know checking for acid reflux is very straight forward in the US and almost always done for preemies there. But (sigh again) we are in Japan and its been a different world here so we will see. Another theory is he prefers Remy over me. (Bigger sigh) As I spend quite long hours at work and I only get to see him for a little bit in the morning and I often don't get home till past 7 pm, I am probably more unfamiliar to him. I really, really try to spend all evening with him as soon as I have woofed down some dinner. Our nightly routine is I play with him for a little bit, bathe him and then depending on how tired he is, read to him and may be play a little more before I bottle feed him and get him to sleep. He will fall asleep any time from 9:00 pm to 10:30 pm (and 11:00 pm last night!) depending on the night. This was going well for a while until recently when his tantrums got worse. Now it is a huge struggle every night and what used to be a very nice time with him every night is turning to be, well, let's just say not so nice time. Work has been incredibly stressful too so these types of evenings do not help.

The sad thing is he won't nurse from me so we don't even have that bond. Some of you may recall that when Isaac in NICU, I wasn't allowed to breastfeed him for the longest time and when we were finally allowed to, only for a very limited time. By the time he came home, he was having such a hard time that I gave up the struggle. I can't help but wonder whether I would be able to better calm him if he would nurse from me. But now I don't even have enough of a supply. I am still pumping but am only getting around 350-400 ml a day and he is eating between 700-800 ml a day (depending on the day). I may try to let him suckle a little bit again. Last time I tried, he was so confused and then he started really crying again (probably because it took so much more effort for him to be able to suck the milk out).

Anyway, I didn't mean for this post to get this depressing. Isaac is still very, very cute for most of the time. He just warps into a different monster, um I mean person, at night. And I never forget what a miracle he is.

I finally downloaded the few pictures I took in the latter part of Jan. So here are finally some pictures of Isaac.

A friend gave Isaac this outfit a long time ago - way before Isaac was out of the hospital. When I first opened it and saw how big it was and that it was for 6 months old babies. I thought - wow that's nuts, Isaac won't be able to wear this probably till he is at least a year old! To my surprise, I took it out again in January and realized that I have to let him wear it soon or its going to be too small for him soon! (Although it does seem like he has short arms as we always have to fold his sleeves up.)

Just another tummy picture:
Isaac looking all important and serious this past weekend:
Isaac showing his true self - his evil grin:
I have noticed this past week that Isaac's hair finally seem to be getting darker and thicker. Some of you may recall that his hair in the early days was quite light brown. These are pictures from earlier this evening (before he warped into the little monster):
Oh and believe it or not, he is at an adjusted age of 6 mos now! Our scale doesn't seem to be that accurate as he was 5.72 kg last night but 5.68 kg tonight. So let's just say he is 5.70 kg (around 12.5 lbs) for now. On Feb 4, his actual age will be 10 months!!!

God bless,

Sonia