What Isaac did this week

We are trying to show Isaac a lot of things that he didn't seem to be able to do yet - perhaps because of the lack of stimulation at the hospital. Anyway, at the beginning of the week, I was concerned that even though Isaac is sucking on his hands and fingures a lot, he doesn't seem to look at his hands at all. So we started trying to put his little fists in the line of his eyesight and after a day or two, he started looking at his fists! In fact, I see him moving his fist and looking at the shadows his fist made on the bed next to his head.

He is still not reaching out that much or grabbing anything at all so we are now trying to encourage him to do that more.

Isaac can also definitely turn from lying on his back to his side. Jong said he also saw Isaac going from his side to his tummy today but I didn't see it happening myself. He didn't do it again so I want to see it before proclaiming that Isaac knows how to turn over by himself.

In any case, the photos I took for his passport pictures may not work according to the photo shop I went to print them out so I took some more. Its amazing how much his face has filled out in the span of about 10 days.

This was taken on Oct 14, 2006:
This was taken on Oct 24, 2006:
Here is a pretty silly video of me and our helper Remy trying to get Isaac to smile for the camera. We got a couple of small smiles but that was it. He really does smile a lot now but I just can't to seem to get it on video!



Sonia

Pictures

Dear all,

I have been meaning to post these pictures for a while since we took them on October 14. I can't believe it took me 11 days to load them. We took Isaac's nasal cannular off to take some pictures for his passport so we took the opportunity to take a few more pictures. I personally think our boy is quite handsome. Hee hee.

This is the picture we made his passport picture from:
The cropped passport picture:



God bless,

Sonia

3rd week at home

Dear all,

I can't believe its Isaac's 3rd week at home already! After this week, I would have finished half of my leave. I think I am a lot more worried about Isaac than I should, especially after hearing Pastor Dennis's sermon this weekend on "Do Not Worry". Its hard not to worry living in Japan. It just seems that so much more is done for premature babies in the U.S. In the U.S., I think Isaac might already be getting early intervention treatments such as occupational therapy and physical therapy but we are pretty much on our own in Japan. I am waiting for our first month's appointment at St. Luke's to see if its possible to get Isaac into some kind of therapy but from what I have heard, its not that common in Japan and very difficult to get in.

I have been searching on the net to see if there are any "self help" guidance but haven't had much luck yet. If I had extra time between taking care of Isaac and work, I would be tempted to join some kind of online program to get a degree but then, by the time I get the degree it would be too late for Isaac anyway.

So we are still learning the lessons of surrendering to God. It somehow seems even harder now that Isaac is finally home from the hospital. Now that we have gotten passed the fears and worries with respect to the more immediate type of medical problems, we are now worried about his long term prognosis. Holding him and watching him each day makes it hard not to really want the very best for him as he grows up since he has already suffered so much. The guilt of being a preemie mother is really hard to fight off sometimes. I look at him and my heart aches to think that he will most probably be much smaller physically then his peers when he grows up. And then there are the unknowns of what kind of developmental delays and other struggles he will have. We have been told he is still at risk for cerebral palsy as he was born so prematurely (but it was very good that it doesn't seem he has had any brain bleeds).

So I think I have to try to focus on this following passage this week. To have faith that God IS in control, as He have been in control in every step of our journey this year. To remind myself of what a miracle Isaac already is so that I can focus on what God has done and what He will do instead of feeling sorry for myself.

Matthew 6:25-34

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I will try to load some videos and pictures later. I haven't had any luch trying to capture Isaac smiling on video yet. I would turn the video on and wait and wait, then I turn it off and he would smile!

Thanks for listening to my venting!

God bless,

Sonia

3 Kgs!

Dear all,

Sorry its been tough for me to post. As I mentioned before, Isaac learned very quickly after coming home that he likes being held all the time. If we want to put him down, we have to wait till he falls into deep sleep and then do it very gently. Since he is making up for lost time, we don't mind too much but it also means that I don't get a lot of computer time. He also really doesn't like the Moby Wrap I got and the Baby Sling I got is still too big for him. So for now, I am not able to wear him and free up my hands. Despite what I said before, I can actually move to other parts of the apartment because we do have very long tubing hooked up to Isaac's O2 machine. However, most of the time, its just easier to stay in our bedroom.

My entire family was here last week right after Isaac came home. I think its the first time for my parents, my sister and I to be in the same place since probably 2000. I was so out of it last week though it kind of went by in a blur. My dad left mid week last week and my sister left on Saturday. And then my mom got sick again on Sunday (she has been struggling with Meniere's Disease). Jong also left for a trip to Korea on Sunday and our helper Remy has Sundays off so I was basically all alone with Isaac on Sunday! I guess it was trial by fire! ^_^

Anyway, Jong just got back from his trip today and Isaac is now soundly asleep on daddy's soft belly - which is why I am able to post tonight.

My father in law was supposed to visit this coming weekend and we were really looking forward to it as he hasn't met Isaac yet (my mother-in-law met Isaac in NICU during his really early days). However, his trip got cancelled last minute so we are all very disappointed.

In any case, my days are quite busy. Isaac seems to be eating all the time as he feeds quite slowly. I am still pumping and bottle feeding him as he gets frustrated nursing because he is not suckling hard enough. I am buying a Nursing Supplement System called Lact-Aid and am hoping it would work. So apart from feeding him, I am also still pumping. And then we try to let him sleep on one of us during the day and we play with him during his awake times. In between all that, I am still trying to keep up with emails at work. I suspect the 6 weeks of leave I have is going to disappear before I know it!

When Isaac was at the hospital, the hospital gave him 50% breastmilk and 50% formula because they thought there were certain nutrients in formula that are not in breastmilk (however, they were just feeding him regular formula and not special formula like Neosure). In any case, Dr. Kawase said we didn't have to feed him formula when he got home so I have switched to almost 100% breast-milk. Jong did buy some Neosure from the U.S. but I still haven't really figured out how much of that I want to give Isaac (he doesn't seem to like it too much and it might be making his bowel movements (bm) more difficult but I am not completely sure). In any case, after he switched to almost 100% breastmilk, his bm's are less frequent. Although I have read everywhere that with breastfeeding, babies can have bm's from once a day to once a week and as long as the bm is not hard and Isaac's tummy is not distended. However, we still worry when he is not having bm often enough so it seems like we are always praying and hoping that Isaac would poop. LOL.

Anyway, when we weighed Isaac on our home scale last night before his bath, Isaac got to 3 kgs! Yippee!

Here are some videos from the past few days.







Take care and God bless,

Sonia

Sometimes I still can't believe my eyes

Dear all,

Its Friday night right now. Almost a week since Isaac came home. And this is what I am seeing from my bed:
Sometimes I still can't believe my eyes. Sometimes I still can't believe I have a son. It was such a long road to just get pregnant in the first place and then the past 6 months seemed like an eternity. It was such a long time ago when I was pregnant and then again it seemed like I barely got that pregnant. Now it seems almost surreal that I have this sweet (well he is not so sweet all the time, hehe) little boy next to my bed and he is my son.

I love watching him sleep. He is sleeping so well at home. Especially when he is being held. He totally deserves every minute of it after the long fight he fought to get home to us. Isaac has been smiling more and more at home. He not only smiles in his sleep but he also shows us these big gummy grins when he is awake now. I dreamed about Rachel for the first time last night. I dreamed that she just came home with us but she was a 2 month old full term baby. She was much bigger than Isaac and she was not only smiling, she was giggling. I told Isaac, your sister is giggling already, when are you going to giggle? And I was worried that Isaac was going to be so much smaller than his sister in my dream. ^_^

I just feel so blessed. I know I have been saying this so many times but I really can't describe how blessed I feel. How amazing God's grace is. I am so thankful that through Jesus, I can feel so blessed after walking through what seemed like fire. In March and April, I felt like I walked through the valley of the shadow of death but He restored my soul.

I just wanted to share a few passages that touched my heart tonight.

I Peter 1:6-7 --

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Psalm 23 --

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

God bless,

Sonia

Isaac at Home

Dear all,

I am sorry it took me so long to post a real post! I couldn't sleep for 2 nights in a row right before Isaac came home so by the time Saturday came, I was a complete zombie. Isaac also discovered that he likes being held a lot so its not been easy to put him down (he cries and then his oxygen saturation levels would go down). I finally figured out how to use the Moby Wrap yesterday but it doesn't always work because sometimes Isaac likes to move around too much. I have been able to put him in the wrap a couple of times so far. Even though I can't walk around the apartment because of his oxygen tube and monitor, its still great to free up both hands.

Isaac has basically been living like a king. He gets to eat whenever he wants, sleep whenever he wants and held whenever he wants. A friend mentioned that its the 24 hour buffet for him and I think he is enjoying it. However, I think he ate a little too much yesterday afternoon/night and ended up being very uncomfortable so we are going to watch how much he eats more carefully.

Isaac is sleeping in a co-sleeper next to me, which is great because when he cries at night, I can just look over and see what he is doing.

Anyway, I still don't have my thoughts together but basically we are really happy and so thankful to God right now. We continue to pray that Isaac will continue to grow and heal from his CLD and that he will not get sick this winter. Hopefully, I can get my thoughts together and post a more thoughtful post soon!

In any case, here is Isaac's homecoming "announcement":

Isaac Samuel Lee born at 23 weeks gestational age on April 4, 2006 at 641 grams (1 lb 6.5 ounces) and 30.8 cm (12 inches) long, came home at 2 months 1 week adjusted age on October 7, 2006 at 2,750 grams (6 lbs 1 ounce) and 45.6 cm (18 inches) long.

p.s. We weighed Isaac tonight (Oct 11, 2006) and if our scale is accurate, he already weighed 2,850 grams.

The following few pictures are of some of the people at Toho University Hospital who loved and took great care of Isaac so that Isaac could come home to us in such great shape.

This is Isaac and his primary NICU nurse Ayako-san:This is Isaac and his primary GCU nurse Imae-san:
Here is Dr. Ozawa, Isaac's heart surgeon, Nurse Ayako and the Lee Family before we took Isaac home from the hospital:
A family picture of the Lee Family at the hospital before we came home:At home, Isaac is already learning how to punch his daddy:
Here is a picture I took of Isaac when he was sleeping on my chest last night:
Isaac and mommy earlier tonight:
And here come the videos:

A video of Isaac enjoying his bouncy chair:



We caught Isaac chewing on his little thumb:



Isaac checking out his mobile:



Isaac's tummy time:



Thanks again for all of your prayers! Please do keep them coming!

God bless,

Sonia

Isaac is sleeping on my chest right now

Dear all,

I just wanted to post that Isaac is sleeping sweetly on my chest right now. We think he is really enjoying the peace and quiet at home but he seems to like sleeping during the day a lot. Its been really great though I am not getting much sleep. I am also bottle feeding him more than I thought I would because I don't think he is able to suckle hard enough to get that much milk from direct nursing. But its all been really great.

I will post more and hopefully some videos later!

Thanks for all of your prayers and well wishes!!!!

Sonia

He's Finally Home!!!!

Hi Folks,

This is Jong. We are finally back from the hospital and after six months that seemed like eternity in a slow groundhog day sort of way we are pleased to announce that our baby boy, Isaac Samuel Lee, is FINALLY HOME with his mommy, daddy and sister!

The weight of the moment didn't have it's full impact until just now as I typed these words. We are both overwhelmed with thanks and humbled by His amazing grace and mercy and by the continued outpouring of love, prayers and support from all of you.

As I watch Sonia share a much overdue kangaroo moment with Isaac, I realize that I'm not looking for a clock to see how much time we have left with Isaac today. There aren't nurses buzzing by or other SpO2 alarms sounding. And we have so much more room to ourselves! I am stunned by the fact that this is probably the first time that I've heard Isaac breathe as the GCU is just so noisy. I don't know how Isaac was able to sleep at all these past months.

Our last visit to the hospital was a little surreal. As this is a long holiday weekend, Isaac's primary nurse was gone - we said our good byes with her the other day but it certainly wasn't the same. Isaac's primary neonatologist left Toho to start his own practice last week so he wasn't there either and neither was Dr. Kawasei. In fact, almost everyone we knew was gone! Thankfully, Isaac's primary NICU nurse Ayako-san was there as well as his heart surgeon, Dr. Ozawa. While we were able to feed him, most of the visit was consumed by discharge paperwork, changing and a long and weepy series of bows, domo-arigatos and photos (they actually called up a hospital photographer to snap a few photos!).

In any event, all of the wires and Isaac's oxygen cart helped keep things real and then we put him in his car seat! He looks soooo tiny!!! But all his mom and dad can think about right now are the thousands of things we want to do with him and how much we are looking forward to not having to leave him. I can't believe it has been almost 3 hours since we came home! He's home, he's home, he's home!

In any event, Isaac was such a good boy in the car and he seems pretty happy with his new home. He's been a little fussy but most of all he's eating up a storm in between changing and hugging sessions. To be honest we're a little nervous about our first evening with him but we wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm sure Sonia will post soon but I just wanted to give everyone a quick update and post a few photos.

Thank all of you again for all of your prayers and support.

Blessings,

Jong

My last "visit" to the hospital!!!

Jong came back to Japan this afternoon and we went to the hospital together for my last "visit". Jong will go tomorrow without me as I need to stay late at the office to finish up before I take a 6 week leave and then on Saturday, we will go to the hospital and come back with our little boy!!!!!

Isaac seems to be interacting with his surroundings, the nurses and us more and more every day. I really can't wait for him to come home where we can give up lots of attention and fun things to play with!

Sorry I haven't posted much this week but we are in a frenzy trying to get ready for Isaac's homecoming. And I am very busy at work too so its been just insane.

Anyway, I gotta catch some zzzzz's so I will post more later!

Take care!

Sonia

Please sign a petition for Prematurity Awareness Day

Will you sign a petition to get Google to create a doodle for Prematurity Awareness Day on November 14th? Please sign the petition on the March of Dimes - March of Dimes petition. Thank you!

Sonia

A Note to our Friends in Japan and 3 More Visits Left!!!

Dear all,

First of all I want to write a note to our friends in Japan. We are so thankful to all of you for all of your prayers and support these past 8 months (I can't believe it was 8 months ago when I was hopitalized!). We (Isaac, Jong and I and our parents) are truly thankful for everything you have done for us. However, I have to ask for your further understanding. Isaac's doctors, other preemie parents as well as the books that we have read have really stressed how important it is for Isaac not to get sick this upcoming winter/flu season. It is also very important that none of us in this household get sick either. As many of you know, Isaac got sick with a common cold earlier in September and he was barely able to breathe just because of that. If Isaac even gets a cold, he will most probably have to go back to the hospital. I don't even want to imagine what it will be like if he catches something more serious than a cold. This is because he still has chronic lung disease, has very weak lungs and a much weaker immune system than full term babies having been born so prematurely. Therefore, we will need to continue to quarantine Isaac throughout this winter. We will unfortunately not be able to take Isaac out (and very unfortunately, including church) except for doctor's appointments. We also generally do not plan to invite friends to our place. We are really hoping and praying for a sick-free winter and want to play it safer rather than sorry. We hope you do not think that we are rude or ungrateful by not "sharing" Isaac with all of you who prayed so much for him in person until hopefully when spring comes (hopefully by Isaac's 1 year birthday on April 4). Jong and I will also have to be very careful with our own health so please understand if we shy away a little bit if you happen to be sick when we meet. (Although Jong will probably forget so I have to ask you to try to remember to stand farther away from Jong if you are sick and you are meeting with him ^_^ - I imagine Jong will meet with a lot more people than me during the upcoming months. ) I hope you can understand our situation.

Now some quick updates on Isaac. The hospital is now trying to get Isaac ready for coming home. If I understood the nurse correctly tonight (since it was in Japanese), they are now not limiting how much Isaac eats and just letting him when he wants and how much he wants (I am not sure but they might still be limiting the total daily intake to 500 ml). When I arrived at 7pm tonight, the nurse told me that he just finished 80 ml at 5 pm. So I didn't feed him then but the nurse let me nurse Isaac just for a little while at 7:30 pm. They also want me to bring Isaac's own bottle tomorrow so that they can let Isaac start trying it out. Jong brought back some Dr. Brown's Natural Flow Bottles so I am going to bring one. I hope the nurses can figure out how it works with my poor explanation!

The most exciting thing is I only have 3 more visit to the hospital before Isaac's discharge date! I don't plan on going on Friday night as I need to make sure I finish everything I need to at the office before I take my leave from work so that only leaves Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Jong will go on Friday though - he only has 2 visits left since he is in the US right now - Thurs and Friday!)

I also want to mention that I talked to Dr. Kawase yesterday (Rachel's doctor who took over Isaac's primary care since Dr. Ishii left Toho a week ago). I asked about Isaac's remaining problems and basically its just his CLD and perhaps longer term developmental problems which we just can't tell right now. (He also still has a tiny PFO in his heart but Dr. Ishii (who was still there when he told us the results of his heart sonogram) wasn't that concerned. It is truly amazing what a miracle Isaac has been! I also asked Dr. Kawase how long he thinks Isaac will be on oxygen (remember Dr. Ishii told us that it could be for a year or two). Dr. Kawase said if he was in charge, and Isaac does well this winter, he would take Isaac off of oxygen after the winter is over. So please pray that Isaac will not only stay healthy but actually grow a lot stronger and that his lungs will heal a lot this winter so that he can be tube and wire free by spring!!!

Here are a couple of cute close ups of Isaac from the last couple of days.

God bless,

Sonia